


Hold on ( I still need you)

by Icylust_wp



Series: Lost you, then I lost myself [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Heavy Angst, Horror, Insanity, M/M, Psychosis, Schizophrenia, Suicide, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:28:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24626251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icylust_wp/pseuds/Icylust_wp
Summary: Athena. Bobby. Henrietta. Maddie.There are tears streaming down their eyes.Are they jealous?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Lost you, then I lost myself [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781596
Comments: 14
Kudos: 53





	Hold on ( I still need you)

**Author's Note:**

> Follow up drabble on my Maybe Tomorrow fic.  
> this is really sad. and the angst tag has not left my mind.  
> TW: Suicide 
> 
> you've been warned! if you are not in the right state of emotions right now, and this might affect you in any way, please do not continue reading!
> 
> I know serving angst right now is a wrong timing, with all the negativity happening in the world.  
> but uh, writing this and letting this out kind of help me deal with the problem that i had.  
> please forgive me for this.
> 
> Eddie's POV:

For the last time, we danced. We danced gracefully at the music. We danced happily. The crowd stopped to watch us, but we ignored it. We only see the two of us.

_Only Buck and I._

We are in our own world, trapped in each other’s embrace. They were just jealous.

We danced at the slow song. I can feel Buck’s cold hand slipped on my shoulders, so I put it back there. As I tightened the hold of our hands, I stared at his beautiful face. I caressed his pale face. He is still beautiful, even though many months have passed. He didn’t change. I felt a tear rolled on my cheeks as I heard the sirens of the police car outside. But still we danced, even if the sirens drowned out the music.

“I’m going to be taken again, my love.” I whispered to Buck and I kissed his lips—his cold lips. I don’t want then to take you away from me again. I can feel the sympathetic stares of the people at me.

_At us._

We danced, even if I felt the crowd give way to the men with police uniforms. I hugged Buck tightly.

“I love you, Evan.” I whispered, and a tear rolled down when he didn’t respond.

The police; even with the hearts of stone, stared at me and Buck for a long moment.

_Athena. Bobby. Henrietta. Chimney. Maddie._

Their whole family is here. They are complete. There are tears streaming down their eyes.

_Are they jealous?_

Of course, they are jealous.

When they got hold of me, I let go of Buck. I need to let him go, even if I didn’t want to. They handcuffed me and dragged me outside as I saw them drag Buck’s lifeless body and put it inside the coffin again. They put him back there again.

“No! He can’t breathe in there! He’ll die!”

I shouted. I pleaded. But they won’t listen. They took me away and they locked Buck inside the coffin.

Athena drove the police car away, bringing me to the prison. She looked at me at her rear-view mirror, tears still streaming down her face. The look of pain was visible in her face as she radioed Bobby about meeting them at the precinct.

I was put in the cell again.

_Alone._

I want to be with my love, but I was behind these cold bars again.

And even though I may not escape these bars again, I will remember and cherish those final moments where I held Buck in my arms as we danced.

I took the razor in my pocket and sighed as I slit both of my wrists, I can’t feel anything.

_Wait for me my love. I’m coming to you._

**Author's Note:**

> i was actually thinking of making it a full fic and i will try my very best to provide a clearer answer these questions :)  
> the focused will be the events before this happens but after Buck's death and what leads to Eddie's actions
> 
> I'm sorry for writing this one.


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